Saturday, September 18, 2010

Time for goodbyes has ended.

Hello all,

Thank you for being so understanding about everything that has been going on in my life and my lack of attendance in your lives.
For those who don't know.  A friend of mine died last Thursday, Sept. 9th, and everything that I do has been tainted with sorrow.  He was a good man that I greatly respected.  I will truly miss him and life will never be exactly the same without his presence.  I attended his viewing last night and got a chance to say my final goodbyes to him and I feel partially healed due to that.  The shock isn't so great anymore and the pain isn't so fresh.  It is time for me to get back into my game and get some work done.  My academics have been sorely neglected since last week.
I wish I that I was able to take the time to truly mourn my friend.  To just sit around and cry for a while but I don't have that luxury.  I'm a 3rd year college student, and as such, always on the go doing this pointless activity or that career building job.  I can't put life on hold like I would like to.  I can no longer put my responsibilities on hold and because of that I will go on.  The healing process began last night and I thank all of my friends who have been there for me.

Special Thanks to my teachers for understanding that I needed some time to heal; to my family for caring because I cared; to my sisters for being here to make me have fun; to my besties: Cece, Aaron (especially Cece and Aaron), Robert, Dayton, and Ian for knowing the words to say to make me feel whole again; and finally to all of the friends who have been down this road right beside me: Dieu, Sang, Chris, Quan, Patrick, Michelle, and Joey. Thank you all and all of those people I met last night who made me realize that even in death this amazing man will be loved on. 

RIP Charles Victa.  You left far too soon.

Charles's Song
This song is dedicated to you.  Whenever I hear it I will think of you and only you.
Josh Groban - To Where You Are

Saturday, September 11, 2010

"all women may have been systematically raped"

What happens when heinous crimes are being committed against citizens of a country; crimes that are initiated by their own governments?  Send in the UN PEACEKEEPERS!  They will knock the tyrants back and free the people! NOT. Once again the UN peacekeepers are doing nothing to actually help the people that they have been sent to protect. Unless absence is the newest form of aid, the UN is not doing its job in the Congo.  After FDLA (Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Rwanda) combatants gained control of the locality of Mpofi in late July, hundreds of women have been sexually assaulted in the eastern Congo. So why didn't the UN step in to aid these ravaged women, some reported to be as young as 7 years old?  That is another easy answer, they didn't know about it until August 12, 2010.  Unfortunately, it seems that UN officials may have their dates mixed up.
According to CNN.com,
"The United Nations initially said it did not learn about the attacks until August 12, when it was alerted by International Medical Corps. That group said it first told the United Nations about the rapes on August 6.
But on Tuesday, the United Nations acknowledged that it first learned of a report of rape on July 30, nearly two weeks earlier than it had previously said."
This does not come as a surprise to anyone that has seen UN inaction before.  They are well known for their inability to make decisions that sway the outcomes of peoples lives.  This, obviously, makes complete sense since the UN is only the governing body for international justice; including,but not limited to, the preservation and enforcement of human rights.  The best UN officials can offer these women is a promise that they "will toughen efforts to stop rape in the region" and inform local relief groups of the atrocities that are presently occurring. However, not everyone working within the UN is incompetent. 
Margot Wallstrom is a UN special representative for sexual violence in conflict. She explains that rape has become such a commonplace form of violence that it no longer takes immediate precedence to the United Nations.  Unfortunately, the women who are being raped on the way to work, to collect firewood, carrying their babies, deserve better than taking a back seat to UN notice.  She calls for serious action against the rebel leaders to pay for these crimes.  "Our policies of 'zero tolerance' cannot be backed by a reality of 'zero consequences,'" says Wallstrom.  It's just too bad that when dealing with the UN, zero consequences is the only option.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Loss is just another four letter word. RIP my friend

As we think about the crisis in the world and the fate of mankind beyond ourselves, sometimes we have to step back and look at the fate of our fellow man, of our friends.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in the complex political game that the US plays with the world and that the world plays with itself that we neglect the play between man and man.  Neglecting and mistreating those who are closest to us but screaming for justice and advocacy to those around the world.  We pain over the loss of human life for those that we sympathize with and celebrate the loss of life of those that are our enemies without conscious regard to the lives of our friends.  This is dedicated to a life that was extinguished yesterday.  A friend who should have been given the same kind of justice that we scream out for others.  A friend who saved so many other from the self destruction that comes with sheer stupidity and callousness, from selfishness and avarice.  A friend who stood there to catch others as they fell but no one bothered to catch his downward spiral.  Used and abused just as so many friends are and never having the inkling to use another.  Rest in Peace to Charles Victa.  He was a beautiful soul that deserved more than he was given.
He should have been honored as we honor our soldiers, he should have been cherished as we cherish our freedoms, and he should have been saved as we try to save the collapsing world around us.  He should have been given a chance at life, the same life that we, Americans, his fellow countryman, fight for everyday.  I can not imagine his sense of hopelessness when he catered to all of his friends yet no one catered to him, I can't imagine what he felt when he made the decision to take his own life.  I can only feel the backlash of the choice that he made.  I can only mourn the man who wasn't fought for as we fight for countless others that we've never met.  He deserved that fight far more than those around the world.  At least from me he did.
I ask that this be a lesson to everyone who neglects, mistreats, abuses, or ignores a friend.  They were not given to you by some unknown power to be mistreated.  Friends are a gift from God, at least the one I pray to, and a gift should always be cherished if only for the thought that went through the mind of the giver.  I can only feel so much pain for this beautiful man and can only cry so much for the loss of his life from this world and still I feel that it is not enough.  Still I feel that I have no right to grieve as I do when I only knew him for such a short time.  We were fast friends and his life had such a swift ending.  I may not grieve as those who have known him far longer but his loss is still a constant ache, his death still a terrible shock.
Even now I can feel the barbs of pain and loss constricting my heart as I am given one day to understand a decision that took months to decide.  As I repay his kindness with words that will not be suppressed.

July 30, 2010
"I made sure everyone was ok and saved them, what sucks is that I was left to sink and no one bothered to ask about me.....what a fucked up life.... MIDDLE FINGER up in the air" - Charles Victa

I only wish that I had been there to caught you as you fell, that I had been around this summer to see you descending and bring you back to the light.  I just wish that you hadn't been alone and for those reasons and more I will forever remember your love, your hugs, your giving heart, and alongside it all, your pain.  You have taught me a lesson that no book in school could have taught me, that no lecture by a renowned professor could have taught me, the hard lesson of life.  A life that I will value more because of your life and that I will also hate because you are no longer a part of it.  I don't know what all of you believe about suicide and Charles eternal soul, but I believe that God saw his child's pain and though the method of his child's death was not one of his choosing, God welcomed Charles's broken soul into the gates of heaven and into his arms for the eternal love that his actions on earth and care for his friends have earned him.

RIP Charles Victa
"I dreamed of you. I dreamed you were wandering in the dark, and so was I. We found each other. We found each other in the dark." -Charles Victa



May your soul now forever live in God's eternal light. You left far too soon.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010